Pharmacy Pickup Lines

Pharmacists are patient-oriented and dynamic professionals who are committed to fulfilling the healthcare and medical needs of each of their patients.
It’s one of the most important professions in the field of medicine.
Working as a pharmacist may be a fulfilling job, but it can also be challenging and demanding sometimes.
If you were among the hardworking professional pharmacists, it would be great to add some humor into your job sometimes.
Here are some of the pharmacy pick up lines that are guaranteed to give you a good laugh, even though some lines are just horrendously bad.

Propranolol is red, while Digoxin is blue. But whenever I see you, my heart skips a beat, and I think, I’m already in love with you!

I truly believe you are like those box of BD pens. It’s because you’re ultra fine and I just wanted you to be mine.


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Girl, you are the most expensive of all my dates. Why? It’s because my insurance requires an authorization before we can go on our first date!

Do you know that you are so pharma-cutical? In fact, you are the cutest girl I have ever seen in my entire life!

For me, you’re like one of those medicines that are regulated by the FDA. It’s because you’re the only one who can effectively prevent, treat, and cure my broken heart.


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I am not exactly sure what my clearance for Creatinine, but I sure cannot get you out of my mind. You have stayed in my system far too long and lingered in my heart forever.

Believe me, I am like Efavirenz because I am capable of decreasing your odds of nightmare, yet you can still enjoy vivid dreams about me, which is a pretty common side effect of this medicine.

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Do you have any aspirin tablet? I think I might just need one now. Because looking at you from afar gave me some heart related aches.

You know, not even the Pepcid AC is enough to stop my heart from beating and burning for you.


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My darling, you are like the norepinephrine. It is because just like this medicine, you have made my heart race and beat endlessly!

Hey, are you an inhaler? It’s because I am having a hard time breathing in your presence. In fact, you have taken my breath away!

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I’m wondering what kind of medicine you gave me. It’s because the side effects that I have know include lower inhibitions, racing heart, and infatuation.

Girl, you are like the Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor. It’s because just like this anti-depressant medicine, life will only make sense whenever you are here with me.

Hey, I believe you are the pharmacist. So please take my new prescription of methadone and I sure expect to see you every day for the rest of my life!

Do you know that I am just like the acetaminophen? Just like this paracetamol medicine, I will make sure to take away all your pain and make life worth living.

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Hey I heard you’re sick. But you know what, I think you are just suffering from the lack of Vitamin Me. So please come see me, because you only need more of my presence to recover from your illness.

Is it just I or is it because there’s some kind of interaction between us?

I think your name is flecainide. Why? It’s because your mere presence is enough to make my heart skip so fast.

I think I need to take an antibiotic. It’s because my love for you just keeps on burning stronger and faster than my urinary tract infection.

Hey, can you please hand me the Imodium and please make it fast? I just cannot hold my love for you anymore and it’s just driving me mad!

Are you breathing some oxygen? Then I guess, we have something in common.

Hey girl, I think you look very familiar. I have a feeling we use to be together in a chemistry class. And it’s because I believe we have some sort of chemistry, which other people don’t have.

Oh girl, you look so pretty. In fact, you make my level of dopamine go oh so silly!

I truly believe that it is about time that you include me in that list of the methadone register. You want to know why? It is because every day that I am near you, I am getting more and more addicted to you!

Hey girl, are you an Advil? It’s because I feel like taking you after every 4 hours or else, the pain in my heart will just go so bad.

Hi, is Desyrel your middle name? It is because your presence is giving me a Priapism!

Baby, I promise Medicare for you all day and all night. And whenever you get sick, I will be here to provide you with some relief!

If you will go out on a date with me, I will make sure to take all your sorrows and nightmares away, just like how the Efavirenz medicine would do for you too!

Baby, there is not any placebo for what I am capable of giving you. Heck, I’m even giving you my entire life, if you don’t mind!

Ouch, I think I badly needed a Band-Aid. It’s because I ended up hurting my knee during the process of falling for you!

Oh no, what have you done? I think I might need an inhaler now. Because when you came, you just took my breath away and now I am having a hard time breathing well.

Hey baby, is your left eye hurting? It’s because I notice that you have been looking right all day today!

I love you so much my dear! Every day, my heart is beating for you. In fact, even the Pepcid AC or any kind of heartburn medicine can never stop my heart from burning for you!

Excuse me miss, I think you may have dropped something. You know what it is? It’s my jaw! You look so gorgeous and incredibly jaw dropping!

I secretly wish that I were your coronary artery. Why? That way, I could be wrapped around your heart and become a big part of your life!

Girl, I truly believe that you are a norepinephrine. It is because you have made my heart racing so fast!

If I am an enzyme, I will choose to be a DNA Helicase. That way, I will have the ability to open up your genes!

Boy, you must be a Sotalol. Just like this medication, you have prolonged my QT interval.

Hey girl, you are just like a pulmonary embolism. It is because you leave me breathless.

For me, you are like a Mannitol. Just like this sugar alcohol, you taste so pleasant and you remain so cool!

Hey girl, are you the pharmacist? Can you tell me what the medicine is to cure my love at first sight?

I promise to be your acetaminophen. I will make sure that all the pains that you feel will go away whenever we are together.

Hey boy, maybe you’re my carotid artery. It’s because I cannot seem to live without you even for mere seconds only! That’s how much I love you, baby!

If all my medications taste unpleasant, would you do the honor of adding more flavors to it? That way, it will make swallowing these medicines easier and faster.

I think I have all sorts of medication in the world. For instance, I was prescribed with a sugar-free methadone because the doctors believe that I am just so sweet enough!

I feel like I have a low creatinine clearance. It is because I cannot seem to erase you out of my mind no matter what!

Baby, now that you’re here with me, I think it’s time for me to stop taking my Risedronate medication. It is because you have increased my bone strength oh so significantly.

I am a certified drug dealer and I just wanted to buy you over the counter.

Hey, are you my appendix? It’s because I just could not understand how you work yet this feeling I have now in my stomach just makes me want to take you out!

Hi! Are you the pharmacist? I am feeling a bit off today. Can you turn me on? Or I guess, give me a pill that can make me feel better?

Am I seeing a Zoladex in your pocket or is it just because you are happy to see me today?

Hey girl, I love you so much more than you ever thought. In fact, the love I have for you is burning stronger than my Urinary Tract Infection!

Oh girl, whenever you are around, you make my dopamine level go crazy. So tell me, what is it in you that are making me act so silly?

My sweetheart, please know that my love for you is like a diarrhea. I cannot hold it anymore!

So, are you going to blow me for these pills? Can I take it twice daily or as I desire? But would you prefer something to suck on?

Yes, we do carry placebos. However, you may need to have a fake prescription before you can acquire it!

Oh girl, you must be some kind of a Class III drug. Why? It’s because you get my heart racing so bad!

Hey, I have a feeling that your back is aching. It’s because you have been back marching in my mind all day and all night!

Hey, boy, you’re cute! But I just want you to know that your prescription for a large, umm… Suppository is already ready for you to pickup.

Are you sure the Lidocaine you prescribed me is not expired? It’s because despite applying this medication, my feelings for you is still so intense! It’s supposed to go numb, right?

Are you lithium? It is because I am thirsty and I am madly craving to drink you.

Hey baby, do you know that you make me so happy? In fact, I can no longer contain my happiness that I feel like you are giving me a serious serotonin syndrome!

Hey, are you the pharmacist? Can you advice what medicine I can take for my hypotension? It’s because when I first saw you, it seems like I am falling for you.

Are you sick? Or is it just because you are suffering from Vitamin deficiency. Seriously, I truly believe you are just in need of some Vitamin Me!

Hey girl, even the Pepcid AC you gave me cannot stop my heart from burning for you! I think you need to give me another medication to cure this burning desire I have for you!

Girl, I think you are suffering from arrhythmia. It’s because I can hear your heart beating so fast every time I am around!

Being with you is one of the best days of my life. But because you are so sweet, I may need to take a Metformin every time we are together. That should prevent my blood sugar level from shooting up!

Hi, it’s showing in your prescription that you need the Aleve drug. But you know what, I think what you only need to have is a dose of Vitamin Me! That should be enough to make you stay healthy.

Hey girl, do you want to have fun tonight? Then, let’s play with my ointment slabs! We can do trituate all day and all night!

I don’t know what ‘s with me but it seems like I am having an ectopic heartbeat whenever you are with me!

I’m not sure what’s wrong with me but I’m always feeling sleepy whenever you are here beside me. It must be because of the Stilnox Tablets and the fact that you are the girl of my dreams!

Hey, I heard you are not feeling well. But believe me, you are just lacking a dose of the Vitamin Me.

Hey girl, can I be a lactone ring for your glycoside?

I cannot promise to make your life better but what I can assure you is that whenever you are feeling sick, I would be willing to be your paracetamol and cure you of all your aches and pains.

I have been medscheckin you out for around 20 minutes. The only thing that I reckon that you should be on is I!

Hey, are you aware of the most drug friendly medication that you can take? It is Allo purinol!

I didn’t know of any person who can treat, cure, and prevent my broken heart except you only. And because of that, I am inclined to believe that you’re one of those medicines that the FDA has regulated.

Hey miss, would you mind if I take your temperature? I just feel like you are feeling so hot today so I thought it would make sense to get your temperature and see if you’re sick.

Would you want me to take your temperature? It’s because you’re looking absolutely hot today.

Hi! You seem to be my appendix. Why? It’s because I have a gut feeling that I should be taking you out.

Oh girl, you look so gorgeous and hot. In fact, your mere presence gets my heart racing just like the epinephrine drip.

Am I falling for you or is it just because of my volatile blood sugar?

Blood is colored red while cyanosis has a shade of blue. But I often get tachycardia whenever I think about you!

Hey girl, did you just cut my phrenic nerve? It is because I cannot seem to breath well whenever I am around you.

Baby, you are so sweet. In fact, even my Glut 2 transporters have to be prescribed with Vmax!

You have a really nice antibody. Would you be willing to conjugate?

You’re probably on stage 3 syphilis. It’s because I cannot seem to get you out of my head.

If I were an enzyme, then I would need DNA Helicase. That way, I’d be able to unzip your jeans. I mean, genes!

Good night girl! But I hope ICU in my dreams!

Are you available tonight? It’s because I wanted you to be my anatomy partner. And if things will go well between us, then we can also take up physiology. If things go smoothly well, then perhaps we can study embryology.

Girl, the way you talk actually leaves me feeling aphasic!

Hey boy, I just wanted to swab you left and right, up and down, and until such time that we will be both afebrile!

I have a feeling you are my coronary artery. Why? It’s because you seem to have been wrapped around my heart.

If I tell you that you have a monoclonal antibody, will you hold this against me?

Girl, you seem the right one for me. In fact, your mere presence is enough to raise my dopamine levels.

Hey baby, would you want to make your ligase working on my Okazaki fragment? That way, you could lengthen my strand.

You know, strange things happen whenever I see you. For instance, my zygomaticus muscle contracts every time you are around.

Unique Pharmacy Pickup Lines with Images


If I were an endoplasmic reticulum, then how would you want me? Do you want it smooth or rough?

Hey girl, do you possess 11 protons? It is because you are so dium fine!

Chronic bronchitis might make you blue while the emphysema puffs will turn you pink, but there is no other COPD that will make me breathless as you, baby!

Hey girl, are you a C-reactive protein? It’s because you seem to have a cute phase.

Baby, the feelings I have for you is just too strong that I cannot be dialyzed.

Girl, while you are systemic, I am pulmonary. Although we are divided, when we’re together, we are one.

Can you please make me your ophthalmologist? It’s because I just cannot stop staring straight into your eyes!

Hey! Do you know what profession you wanted to take up when you grow up? If not, then I would suggest you better become a cardiologist. It’s because there’s something about you that makes me wanted to give you my heart!

Hey boy, are you drowning? It’s because I have an urge feeling of giving you a CPR right at this moment!

My darling, my love for you is just like a diarrhea. I just cannot hold it in no matter what!

My baby, you are my heart’s sinoatrial node for without you, not even a defibrillator will be able to save me from dying.

Hey boy, are you a COPD? It’s because you seem to take my breath away!

I never planned on specializing, however, it seems that you are pretty special to me!

I hope that someday, you’ll be my emergency contact. That way, we can exchange generic information!

I am someone who can easily be administered just like the Lactulose. However, I cannot be taken rectally or orally.

Are you single this Valentine’s Day? Then come, visit me at the pharmacy. That way, I can prescribe you with a medicine that could treat your VD blues!

Hey, you should call me a Proair! It’s because you could use me after every four hours or as needed!

You are probably a 5 alpha reductase inhibitor! It’s because that’s one Finasteride.

Hey girl, you are looking extra sweet! I bet you are here to pick up a bottle of insulin.

I have to keep an Amiodarone on hand always. It’s because whenever I see you, I just could not help my heart from skipping a beat!

The love of a pharmacist is just like the Nystatin Suspension. You may need to swish it first before you start swallowing it.

If you are looking for a short-term fling, then I have this thing called Medrol. It will be all over you on the first day but eventually, after you swallow it slowly, it will begin to slip away!

Hey! I think you are a pulmonary embolism. It’s because whenever I am around you, I seem to have a difficulty in breathing.

Are you an acid in my esophagus? It is because you seem to be giving me heartburn!

Are you an anti-diuretic hormone? It’s because you always make me feel so thirsty!

Do you feel like you are about to drown? Then please tell me because I am dying to give you a CPR!

Baby, are you an epinephrine? It is because you are making my heart race!

Are you a type of fibrous pericardium? It is because you seem to have anchored my heart into yours!

Roses are red, while violets are blue! But I seem to get a tachycardia each time I would think about you!

Sure, you are welcome to fill my caudate nucleus with a dopamine anytime you want to!

Hey girl, are you an appendix? It’s because whenever you are around, I get a funny feeling in my stomach and I feel like I should be taking you out!

Did you just cut my phrenic nerve? It’s because you seem to take my breath away!

Are you feeling a bit lonely today? Maybe you wanted me to prescribe you with a Vitamin Me? If so, then just tell me!

If only I am a coronary artery, I would definitely be wrapped around your heart each day!

Girl, your awesome personality is just so magnetic that I believe our protons are perfect in alignment!

Baby, you are looking so hot that you ended up denaturing all my proteins!

My darling, the way you look is making my blood increasingly flow!

Hey girl, did you just damage my cerebellum? It is because it seems like I’m falling all over the place for you!

Are you aware that you are the Sodium in my H2O? It’s because where you will go, it’s where I also go!

Girl, are you suffering from a severe case of plantar fasciitis? It is because you have been running in my mind all day and all night!

Hey baby, you’re like a benign lung polyp that is causing me a bronchial adenoma. Why? It’s because you take my breath away!

Hey, are you doing methylation? It is because my genes may need some modifications!

Roses are red, violets are blue, and you make my heart skip whenever I think of you. But I guess I may have developed a Mobitz type 2!

If you were a concentration gradient, then I would definitely go down on you!

Girl, I feel like I am a non-competitive inhibitor. It’s because I always wanted to be attached to your posterior region!

Girl, if only I am lymphocyte, then I will definitely be a natural killer and I believe you won’t be able to resist me.

Do you need your eyes fixed? If so, then I want to volunteer to be your ophthalmologist. It’s because I just cannot stop myself from looking directly into your angelic eyes!

Hey, do you know that I am a medullary thyroid carcinoma while you are a pheochromocytoma? That makes us both a MEN 2B.

Girl, you are looking so adorable that whenever you are around, you make my heart suffer from Premature Ventricular Contractions.

Baby, are you an osteoporosis? It’s because you are giving me a serious bone condition!

If you want to wake up happy, then you better sleep with me. I’m an anesthesiologist!

Am I seeing a reflex hammer in your pocket? Or is it because you are just feeling excited to be seeing me.

Girl, you seem to have shifted my emotional oxy hemoglobin saturation curve towards the left. Now it is easy to bind, but absolutely hard to let go!

Hey baby, would you please be my G-protein? It’s because I wanted to be coupled up with you!

I have a feeling that you are a C-reactive protein! It is because you possess acute phase (a cute face)!

Baby, there’s nothing to worry because your receptor and my ligand are made perfectly for each other!

Did you just alter my vestibular apparatus? It is because I keep on falling for you over and over again!

Girl, you are the sweetest girl I’ve met. In fact, I’m tempted to check your blood sugar level because you may have developed diabetes because of your sweetness!

You know what, you have something in common with a febrile patient – you are both feeling so hot!

Sometimes, I get jealous of the stethoscope. Because I feel like I should be the only one who will be wrapped around your neck!

Why is there a need for you to study embryo when we can make one for you!

Baby, are you an anesthesiologist? It’s because you seem to have knock out all my senses!

Oh honey, it seems like you just made my heart stop. So you better grab the AED quickly!

You are like an appendix. It’s because I do not understand how you actually work but your presence just made my heart feel awful. Sometimes, I just wanted to take you out.

Hey baby, please refrain from being too sweet or I might develop diabetes!

Baby, does your eye hurt? It is because you seem to be looking right all day!

Girl, I truly believe that you’re the one for me. Why? It’s because my selectively permeable membrane is letting you through!

Can you hear that? Even my heart is murmuring the words I love you.

Girl, I’m hemophilic for you. It’s because you painted my town red!

I truly believe you are the NA to my CL.

Do you want to share some valance electron with me? That way, we could follow the octet rule!

I am like your acetaminophen. I will make sure that all your pains will go away whenever we are together!

For my eye exam tomorrow, I’ll try to use atropine drops. But then I realized that a picture of you should be enough to dilate my pupils and take away my eye pain!

If I can become an enzyme, I’d choose to become a depantsanase. That way, I could catalyze your reaction while you’re taking off your clothes.

Baby, I am like an HCL while you are a pepsinogen. Whenever we are together, I will make sure to cleave into your active form. That way, we’d be able to digest some proteins.

I am like drugs with high partition coefficient, while you’re like a biological membrane. Now that explains why you my high lipophilicity during the duration of our action.

Baby, I am like a vast amount of potassium while you are like a cell. This is why whenever I am around – you are more likely to reach your potential.

Girl, can I be your mineral oil? I will always make sure to give you a soothing feel and will constantly leave you feeling smooth whenever I am in your suspension!

Baby, I am your flocculating agent. I will make sure to bind with you so we could settle faster to my place.

Honey, I feel like we are the ingredients of an ointment. So let us imagine that my bed is the ointment tile and let’s indulge in some triturating.

Hey dear, are you a cytokine? It’s because I could not help but notice that you are attracting my inflammatory cells towards you!

Baby, can we just skip this Go phase and instead, let’s head straight towards the M phase! I mean, we are both labile cells, which means that we are always ready for cell proliferation!

Baby, I am a Glucuronic conjugation. I am here to give you more glucose and then transfer my activated conj. group towards you with the use of my transferase enzyme.

I am a subcutaneous injection. Therefore, let us skip the small talk. Instead, let’s get under your skin. That way, I can be absorbed even faster.

Let us pretend that you and I are like benzene rings. Then let us form a polycyclic hydrocarbon. That way, we can skip numbing the ring junction and instead, we’ll get closer to the double bonds!

Baby, I can feel your occipital lobe getting crazier whenever you are looking at me all the way from one side of the room to another. Why don’t we go back to my place and then we can work out our parietal lobe?

Baby, let us follow the pseudoplastic flow. Then let us relive the viscosity that’s building up between us by going back to my place. That way, we can at least improve our shering rate all night long!

Hey baby, it seems like you’ve got a wild type of allel with in you. Do you want to find out if we’ve got dominant inheritance by producing Punnett Square and without a chart in the old fashion method?

Remember that when you are beside me, there is no longer a need for SA node. It is because I will make sure that your heart rate will always be up, all the way until the Purkinje fiber!

You are probably a type three anti arrhythmic, just like the Amiodarone. It is because you always trigger my heart to irregularly beat whenever you are around.

Hey baby, I am just like your sympathetic nervous system. Why? I will make sure that your heart rate will always be up whenever we are with each other.

Baby, are you able to feel the electricity up in the air? Because it seems like your voltage gated channels are going to open up and will trigger us to reach our action potential!

Hey babe, think of me like a Mannitol. I will always leave you with a pleasant taste as well as a cooling sensation if you are going to take me orally.

Hey girl, I am like a Prodrug. So if you are going to swallow me whole, I will make sure that we get to metabolize to an active form!

Baby, we are like two Eutectic drugs. When we are mixed together through a trituration, we are going to end up in a uniform liquid.

Baby, you are like a NAM while I am a NAG. Let us pretend we are bacterial cell wall and that we came from some peptidoglycan bond. That way, we can both be flexible and rigid when we arrive at my place.

Baby, think of me as a SSRI antipsychotic. I will make sure that you are the same whenever you are beside me. But this will come with a side effect, which is an increase stereotypic sexual behavior, which will be manifested whenever you are in my presence.

Hey babe, I wanted to be your blastocyst. That way, I can get inside your uterus and then grow inside of you!

You must be a CYP450 inhibitor. It’s because whenever I look at you, I can tell that there will be an increased level of me within you especially if I get metabolized tonight.

You are looking so stressed. But do not worry. I will prescribe you with some Me++ tonight, as well as an enhanced Mg++. These supplements should help to slow down your processes and will relax you a bit!

Looking at you, it seems like you’re suffering from acidosis. So why don’t you go back to my place? That way, I could give you some hyperventilation and as a result, the acidic level will be lowered.

Girl, you are probably taking an Effexor. It’s because I can tell that your addictive impulsive behavior of taking me home tonight is wildly increasing!

Hey, are you rich in sodium? It’s because you’re osmotic pressure is bringing me over to you. But don’t worry, for I will help to lower the sodium level by the amount of perspiration that I’ll trigger on you tonight!

Hey baby, I think I badly needed an ACE inhibitor. It’s because I can feel that my heart is getting congested and deteriorating whenever you are around me.

Excuse me can you please get me some aspirin table that I can chew? It’s because I am suffering from heart related pains just by looking at you!

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