Hilarious Pick Up Lines
People say that the way to a woman’s heart is through humor, that if you can make her laugh, then you can also make her fall in love with you so here are some hilarious pickup lines that will slowly but surely help you catch her heart.
Use these when you feel like being funny and try these awesome pickup lines out!
You know, I grew up in the sixties, the peace and love generation. So either give me love and we will have some peace.
On the last date I had, we played strip poker all night, we stripped and then I poked her hard.
I just got out of jail last month, so maybe I can steal you a drink? Or do you want a BMW?
I think you must be a campfire because you are super hot and I keep wanting s’more of you.
Girl, listen to me right now. I know that we are not socks but I think we’d make a great pair.
So baby when I told you that you would make curves great once more, I did mean that, okay?
You just told me that we are friends from today on, so I when would the benefits start to come.
I know how busy you are everyday of your life so I wanted to be on your to-do list, okay?
Is it so much to ask for to be on your to-do list since you are such a super busy person, girl?
So whatever you are doing right now, take a deep breath, keep calm and take your pants OFF.
Are you feeling down as of the moment? Because if you are, I must tell you I can feel you up.
Hey, baby, I was certainly not looking at your boobs, I was just uh- staring at your heart.
Babe, I just paid off the mustache I had, I was wondering if you want to take a ride on it?
If you are wondering what I am wearing right now, it is the smile that you have given me.
Terrible yet hilarious pick up lines
In case you have not noticed I would fake blindness if it means to be able to touch you so bad.
Should we go to the darkroom right there just so we can see what develops between us two?
I think that I am allergic to nuts and all that but I do not think that there is a way that you are.
Hey, if you want to sleep with me all you need to do is smile and believe me that I would, girl.
Can you see that door over there, baby? Well, that is our ticket out. Shall we go right now?
What you really need right now is not a body guard but a booty guard, girl. You are awesome.
(Use your index finger to make someone come near you) I made you come with one finger, so can you imagine what I can do with you using my whole hand?
I can say hello in 7 languages, so I was wondering which I should greet you with tomorrow.
(Go to someone at a bar then ask her) Do you want to fuck… pause for a second….ing drink?
What do I do for a living? I am a proctologist, the sign on my door says park in rear, can I?
I think that you must be an alien, for after all, you have certainly abducted my heart right now.
(Fake your sneeze) Could you be an angel because I am allergic to feathers, baby girl.
Hilarious cheesy pick up lines
I kind of want to run my hot wheels to each of your curves, in case you are not aware just yet.
I honestly think that now is the time you should know what people are saying behind your back: they are telling you have some nice ass.
I think that you have some pretty eyeballs because they were eyeing my pretty balls, girl.
The first thing I’d do is kiss you on the lips then move up to your belly button, my baby.
You better give me your number baby before I get tired and want it no longer, you got that?
Roses are color red, violets are actually plants so what have you got under your pants, girl?
Babe, you are currently smoking hot and is on fire, let me be the wind to make you hotter.
So right now I am feeling kind of hot and all that, I wonder if I can take your pants off, maybe.
So you kind of stole my heart just now so would it be fair if I steal your last name, baby girl?
You want to know what I actually find disturbing as of this moment: it’s simple: your nudity.
Something is telling me that I should take you out, it is coming from my guts, my appendix.
I think it is definitely a good thing that I wore my gloves today because you are too hot to hold.
Hey, I think you drop something, (she will ask what) Well, you see, I think, your standards.
Hi my name is (say your name) can I possibly domesticate you. What do you think about that?
The year is coming around, do you have a resolution for it? I am looking at mine right now.
I honestly think that we should end this new year with a bang. Are you up for it, baby?
I think that you work in some library somewhere because you increased my circulation, girl.
If I was a painter, I would put you down in paint, it is just too bad that I am not, babe.
If I can paint you down, I would hang you next to Mona Lisa because you would put her to shame for sure, I just feel it in my pants ugh, bones.
Roses are red and violets are certainly blue how would you feel if I went home with you?
Omelet you on a secret if you know how to keep one. Do you want to hear it or would you not?
I like Lego and I heard that you are found of them too. Would you like to build a relationship?
Do you know Karate? I’m making sure you do not kick me when I start to grab your ass now.
You like my false teeth, do you not? Well I cannot smile without you, just like my false teeth.
I know that I may not be a hipster but babe I swear I can stir your hips if you want me to.
You are like my new cellphone, I just cannot stop staring at you in public, so much love.
I wonder if you have a map because I really want to find my way into your pants right now.
Are you a magician because you are making my shaft levitate as of the moment. Abrakadabra!
Hi! My name is (your name) and I can disappoint you in so many ways than you can imagine.
I think you must be wearing space pants because your ass is taking up a lot of room, baby.
If I was a tractor and you were a plow, girl, I would most likely hook up with you, girl
If I am such a pain in your ass, then maybe we can just go add more lubricant in there, babe.
I think I must have seen you in Girls Gone Wild, was I right or was I really just right?
Say yes now and save me the trouble of having to spike up the drink you are holding now.
If you were a book I guess I would not read you because your print is just fine so fine, baby.
I think that you can definitely call me baby, then I’d be inside your for the next nine months.
Hey, I just lifted your spirits right now, right? If yes, maybe you can go and lift your shirt up?
I wonder if you like pirates because I have a lot of seamen just waiting to meet up with you.
See those boys? I made a bet with them to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the room. Should we buy drinks with their money?
You know what is good about me? You do not have to wait until midnight to see my balls drop.
Best Hilarious Pick Up Lines With Funny Pictures
I wonder if you are a drug because I marijuana take you home right now, this night, girl.
Let us play carpenter, you want to? But first we need to get hammered, get some wood and I would nail you right then and there.
Oh no! Your belly button is in the wrong place. It should have been on top of me right now.
Baby you have bought yourself a cruise on this love boat and I am a willing captain, love.
I kind of spilled some skittles down my pants right now, do you want to taste a rainbow?
I think you have some nice pants, do you want to maybe test the zipper, right now, baby?
The fact that you are a blonde automatically give you five points. If you get a twenty, I would give you my phone number, baby.
Are your pants on sale right now because at my house, all of them could be 100% off, girl.
You know what I call my shaft? I call it notorious because girl it’s B I G, baby!
Girl I know that milk does your body good so baby how much have you been drinking?
I love the way you do me whenever you go down on me, I love you so much, baby.
Let us have some steaming fun tonight, which place do you want to go to, mine or yours.
Is there something wrong with you or is it just that you are steaming hot right now, baby?
I wonder if there is some chance that we can go home together tonight, what you think?